I’m in the process of arranging mentorships for the BSc students at the Gokhale Institute, in part because our internship plans went out of the window, and in part because I know I would have liked a mentor at that age (wouldn’t we all?). There were some doubts and misunderstandings about how a mentorship works when contrasted with internships, and what follows is therefore addressed to the students – but hey, maybe others will also find value. So here goes:

Imagine that you, as a 19 year old, were asked to mentor a student currently in the 10th grade. You’ve been through the grind, you know the pain of writing the 10th board, the 12th board, and the pressure of not just doing well in those damn exams, but also choosing the appropriate field of study. You’re bursting with advice and counsel, positively bristling with tips and tricks… except that student from the 10th grade doesn’t know what this mentorship is about, what mentorships in general are about, and what is expected of him/her. It’s kinda like that, except you are in the place of that 10th grade student. And your mentor waits for you to get started, and you wait for the mentor to get started… and whoops. We’re stuck.

A mentor falls somewhere in the middle of the prof-buddy spectrum. Less authoritarian than a professor, and more knowledgeable and experienced than a buddy. You can’t exactly be Jai-Veeru, but it’s not like your mentor is Thakur either (if you didn’t get those references, go watch Sholay. Right now. Kids these days, I tell you.)

Your job, as a mentee, is very simple. Ask questions. Learn as much as you can about your mentor – who they are, what they have done, what their area of expertise is, where they have worked in the past and where they work now – and then ask them questions about all of this.

The idea is to get a compressed version of their lives, so that you can do two things in your own life. One, they’ll tell you about things they learnt on the job – you learn now, rather than later. Second, you get to avoid the mistakes they made.

No question is too outlandish, no query too “stupid”. Your mentors have been in your place, and they’ve experienced the nervousness you are feeling now. So don’t worry about appearing not quite tuned in, because that’s ok.

But given that they’ve chosen to take time out of their busy schedules to speak to you and guide you, it does make sense to follow through on their advice when it comes to reading, viewing or listening to their recommendations – that’s a given.

And a word of caution – sometimes these things don’t work out, and that’s ok. Maybe you are not suited to their personality, or vice versa. Maybe you just don’t gel, maybe there are misunderstandings. And that’s totally fine, because why expect mentorships to not be like the rest of your life? Sometimes things don’t work out, and that’s cool.

But when they do – and you may have to take a little bit more effort than usual to make sure they do – then you may have that most precious of gifts: a person who is older to you, more accomplished than you, and a person who has decided to look out for you, for life. Job references, recommendation letters, career advice, putting in a quiet word for you – all of these are things you can count on for life, because your mentor has also become your friend.

That, more than anything, is the greatest thing to come out of a successful mentorship, and I speak from experience on both sides of the table. Get yourself a mentor, and cultivate that relationship.

It is, without a shadow of a doubt, the best investment you will ever make.